Jumbo-Tron

We’ve all been there before. Having some good clean fun at a ballgame with your friends when all of a sudden you look up and one of your buddies is up on the Jumbo-Tron. Exciting right? Wrong. The next 10 seconds could drastically change his/her life forever. It is a little known fact that many a coup de tat was started from a simple Jumbo-Tron incident. Look it up.

It’s like watching a train wreck happen. You don’t want to watch but you can’t take your eyes away from the screen. Time slows down, you see the move coming but you cannot react fast enough. And before you know it your friend has taken his shirt off and is chanting indecipherable gibberish at the crowd. Perhaps the chicken dance comes next or maybe some roll the dice action. Not pretty.

But why? Can we possibly resist this Pavlovian Jumbo-Tron response? I have decided to start a new public service announcement campaign promoting Jumbo-Tron safety (the multi-colored wristbands are forthcoming). The message is simple: Help Me Help You or Don’t Be Such a Dumbass.

Will this be hard? Hell yes this will be hard. A person is smart, but people are big dumb animals. And when that crowd starts cheering and the peer pressure kicks in, there is almost no stopping the impending stupidity. Dance monkey dance. Yes you are up on the big screen for the whole arena to see. And yes your body is telling you to do something. But be strong people. Together we can beat this thing.