To Grunt or Not To Grunt

That is the question. One Australian girl appears to have had this decision made for her. The 9 yr old tennis player was recently banned for a month from playing at her local club due to the noise she makes during competition. In other words, she grunts loud.

This has to be the first case of grunting gone bad. Although there is something about the word grunt in general that makes you not like it. When is a grunt a good thing? Even baby grunts are not cute.

Grunting in tennis is just a glorified scream really. Monica Seles has often been dubbed the Originator of the grunt. She even leveraged her grunting into some lucrative marketing campaigns. The most notable current tennis grunter is of course Maria Sharapova. She just so happens to be this little girl’s favorite player. Maybe the reason people don’t have a problem with Sharapova grunting is the fact that she looks a this. Why do I feel like being bossed around after watching one of her matches? In bed.

But apparently grunting is a part of her game. And the question has to be does grunting give an athlete a competitive advantage? I had to get to the truth of the power behind the grunt. And so, in an attempt to create my own episode of Sports Science, the Grunt Experiment was born. Using one of those Drive Slower MPH Detectors parked on the side of the road, I tested the Grunt Hypothesis that shots hit with a grunt move faster than shots hit without a grunt. The results just may shock you.

I managed to hit the tennis ball 125 MPH faster with the grunt. I have since decided to utilize the grunt in all facets of my life. Never before have I typed so strongly. I will be needing a new keyboard however.

So does grunting actually create more power behind the tennis shot? Yes. The answer is a definitive yes. Don’t be the guy to go against science dude.

Human Giant: Rollerblading

Definitely the hardest part...

Utopia

Just found this link and felt I had to share. We all know The Fellowship is actively looking for the Shire... perhaps they found it. JTJ is so jealous right now.

Loooooove Me The iPod

Something makes me want to create a new playlist...

Supercomputers

When you hear the word Supercomputer, visions of the movie Tron with kickass blue and red glowing graphics come to mind. The point is the word conjures up images of something really Awesome. It's more than just a computer; it's a Supercomputer. So when the prestigious Dr. J. Smith brought to my attention the creation of this new Supercomputer, I was intrigued. I also thought; damn why don't I have one of those.

And after much investigation, I learned that this particular Supercomputer is actually intended to be used for Inter-Galactic communication. Will we be able to talk to the Universe? Well it certainly appears that She is talking to us. And the folks over at Syracuse University are ready to listen. An encouraging message for us to learn what with that whole Valentine's Day Thing approaching.

The title of the new Supercomputer is SUGAR. Aptly named for it's sweet demeanor, SUGAR's job is to record the Cosmic Symphony that is Black Hole Activity. Or as I like to call it, Hot Space Relations 3. Black Holes are essentially the "bullies" of the Universe. Huge masses always beating up smaller, weaker galaxies. Even going so far as eating the light around them. Not cool Black Hole.

So SUGAR is going to use it's special supercomputer powers to detect when such bullying occurs, and then report it for disciplinary action. Outer space is talking and SUGAR is here to listen.

Should we be worried about SUGAR overpowering it's owners and rising up to attack the human race? Yes. But that is why we invented the on/off switch. Duh. What's the worst that could happen?

Congrats to the 'Cuse Physics Dept. and Dr. J. Smith. Please let us know all the sordid details SUGAR picks up in the coming months and years.