Guaranteed

Remember back when making a guarantee meant something? The Babe promising a home run as the last wish of a dying boy or Ali vowing to knock out Liston or Namath guaranteeing Super Bowl victory. These promises had real value. These predictions were the stuff of legends. They were bold (made at the biggest moments) and they were actually backed-up.

So what's changed? Are too many people making guarantees too often? It certainly seems like each week we are hearing about a new guaranteed victory. This high volume of guarantees not only makes us numb to their effect and meaning but throw in the fact that they are usually empty promises and we are all left annoyed and unfulfilled (much like I feel after being forced to watch the latest Cuba Gooding Jr. trailer).

Personally, I blame the guy from The Men's Warehouse. He is always guaranteeing we are gonna like the way we look. That is a bold claim and quite frankly I don't think he can back that up. His incessant outlandish prediction has driven our society to reach Guarantee Overload (officially ™ by respect-the-streak.blogspot.com).

In a society where arrogant bravado in sports is encouraged and where talk is more valuable than action, guarantees reign supreme. From this week's baseless guaranteed win by Steelers safety Anthony Smith (Final Score 34-13 Patriots-Good Call Tony) to Rasheed Wallace's weekly guarantees, we are constantly inundated as sports fans. I am fine with athletes being confident. In fact I expect ALL athletes to BELIEVE they will win EVERY time they step out on the field of play. But don't go out and brag about that confidence to anyone who will listen. How about going out and just proving it on the field. SHOW ME. Don't tell me. Just SHOW us all who is the better team. Deliver the goods. Make it happen. And IF you have the confidence to make a guarantee at least make it count. There should be a limit on the number of incorrect guarantees a player can make over their career. One and done. And the quality of guarantee should be monitored as well. Don't go out there and guarantee a win over the Dolphins or the Supersonics. Who hasn't beaten them? You're better than that Spanish.

Predicting victory has been going on for years, just look back at history. Didn't you know we won the war in Iraq back in 2003? Mission Accomplished. Religion made the first guarantees, and the beauty of those promises is that we have no way of proving their authenticity. That is the ultimate guarantee. Live your life this way or that way and you will be rewarded, guaranteed.

There is no denying the fact that we live in a world full of guarantees, spanning from the sports world to consumer products (make millions by doing nothing? Still waiting...) to politicians to religions. Are we that naive to think that all of these things are actually guaranteed to us? I, for one, refuse to be fooled any more. No more sitting waiting for that cream to take effect! I believe no guarantee. Until it actually happens it does not exist. Nothing in life is guaranteed other than death (nice uplifting message I know). Maybe Nike was on to something with the whole Just Do It ad slogan. Actions speak louder than words. And THAT you can count on, I guarantee it.

Steroids Part II.

It’s Time To Let Go of the PED Crusade
(Part I. of this series is located below or you can click on the tab located to the right).


The simple fact is: some athletes in all major professional sports used/are using illegal means to improve their level of play. Everyone knows it. We’ve had it smashed into our heads for the past few years. Heck, even during McGwire’s monumental run in ’98 he faced questions about the Andro supplement found in his locker. This is old, insignificant news. Many of our stars are tarnished, some, perhaps, unfairly.

Major League Baseball would lead us to believe this is the single greatest cheating scandal to befall any sport and has arranged for a special investigator to unearth all of the sordid details (The Mitchell Investigation). How does this help us move forward? This report will tramp out a litany of shipping documents, eyewitness accounts, and other forms of evidence that provide a means for dragging certain players through the mud of being associated with Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs). This report will solve nothing. Instead, the Mitchell Investigation will merely serve as a way for MLB to point the finger at problematic individuals without understanding the institutionalized cancer the problem has become.

The solution is simple. MLB and the Players’ Union must forget the past and focus on the future. To do this, both sides must agree to adhere to the most stringent of testing procedures, as they become available. Blood for proper HGH testing should be stored. Random, frequent testing of all players must become standard, accepted practice. Amnesty should be given to all players up to this date for any past transgressions with PEDs. Most importantly, Major League Baseball must strive to be on the cutting edge in testing for any and all PEDs. Finally, MLB should enact severe penalties for any players found to have used PEDs from this date onward. Any findings of PEDs from this point onward shall be met with immediate suspension from the game for one unpaid season. Any subsequent positive findings will result in expulsion from the game in perpetuity.

This solution levels the playing field, shows that both sides are intent on cleaning up the game, and will inject the public with a sense that their baseball idols are genuinely playing with tools provided through natural talent and hard work. By storing blood samples, players will be unlikely to attempt to find other ways to beat the system, as they know when a test is devised to find such supplements they will be discovered as frauds. Moreover, if baseball is willing to devise the most comprehensive testing system known to the world, players will be too frightened to challenge it.

I don’t care that players cheated in the past, because it is going to be impossible to adequately discover who did what. Instead of pointing fingers we should just sweep it all under the rug and start from scratch. This is the only way to ensure that the game is clean. From that point on, if a player attempts to cheat the game, he will be rightfully and severely punished.

Steroids Part I.

Players and Management: Everyone’s Dirty

We stand on the eve of the steroid armaggedon that has been building since before Jose first plunged a needle into Mark McGwire’s butt. This week the federal government indicted Barry Bonds on Perjury and Obstruction of Justice charges based on his testimony before a grand jury in which he stated he did not use steroids. In less than a month, Major League Baseball will be releasing the Mitchell Report, which supposedly documents the usage of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) by players throughout the sport. This report and the Bonds trial fail to adequately correct the wrongs already perpetrated against the sport and fall well short of providing an answer as to how to pick up the pieces. Basically, why bother with a report when it is clear that everyone has contributed to this mess?

Players
Naturally, this is where the investigation begins and, if MLB has its way, where it will end. Each player who ever took steroids or HGH or whatever other PED they could find is guilty of tarnishing the purity of the game. It was their individual decision to cheat and they should be rightfully tainted for it. However, this simple thinking ignores how universal concerns pushed these people to cheat. Looking closer each player using PEDs did so for much more complex purposes: greed, job security, fame, talent enhancement, peer pressure, career pressure, etc.

I’ve seen it asked at other times, but which of us would ignore the Siren’s call to “rub the clear” on our bodies knowing that to do so could open the door to outrageous fortune and adulation the likes of which average people, like myself, will never know? What about the middle-aged player on the verge of being pushed out of the lime-light who “needs” one more good season to ensure a major league paycheck for his family? What about the minor-league kid who needs that extra bump in performance to get that first taste of major league coffee? Given these scenarios and the myriad of others, who among us could “say no” to PEDs? The allure of playing professional sports is too great to be ignored in this mess, so as much as I dislike the usage of PEDs in sports, I can understand where the desire to use them comes from. From a purely outside perspective we should vilify the players for damaging the sport, but we should also understand there is much more at play than meets the eye.

Management
No group is more complicit in the growth of steroids than the various owners who knowingly turned a blind eye to the situation until it became a national scandal. In essence, this group has it the best. They can claim ignorance to the problem, yet indulge in the immense popularity the steroids era brought to the sport. The game has never been more popular than when the long-ball was sailing out of the park. Fans came out in droves to watch Big Mac, Sammy, and eventually Bonds break single-season records and the all-time home run mark. All the while, owners and management ignored Barry’s ever-growing dome and the Andro found in Big Mac’s locker.

Now these players who received untold riches and fame are being rightfully persecuted for cheating, but the owners and management who must have known about the cheating and received even more wealth face very little public condemnation. Bud Selig gets embarrassed in front of Congress for a couple of hours, while Mark McGwire goes into total seclusion, ostracized from public exposure. Owners continue to get rich and Bonds goes to jail. The owners fed off of players who strove for fame and fortune. Basically, these fortune leeches got all the wealth and none of the responsibility, which is a deal they would make time and time again. Who should we expect more from, the individual players or the architects of our game? After all it was the owners’ implied condonation of this behavior that helped create this mess.

Part II will document what I believe should be done to move the game forward away from the steroid era and its fall-out.

Point/Counter-Point: A-Rod Sign Him or Deny Him (loads of cash)?

BJ you ignorant slut!

You would choose to deprive this power-starved team the opportunity to land the player who will most likely wear the crown of greatest home-run hitter of all time, simply because he has yet to dominate the playoffs, or is not the gregarious, media-charmer that your beloved Kobe is? That is just dumb. I will break this down for you real simple so you understand how this is a no-brainer.

A. The Halos will receive about $30 million from a previously untapped revenue source, MLB.com, which is pouring about that much money into each team’s coffers. This money, which is new money and should be around this amount each year would cover the team for the cost of signing A-Rod. Thus, A-Rod could be signed without the Halos extending beyond what they already took in from last year.

2. I agree that it would be nice to bring in a proven championship caliber player, but look at the success Vlad has brought to the team and he has never won a title and has performed even worse than A-Rod in the postseason. And, the whole A-Rod sucks in the postseason argument is all myth, sham, balderdash, hooey, and crap. While in Seattle, A-Rod played in 15 playoff games had 53 ABs and hit .340 with 3 HRs and 8 RBIs. His first season with NY in the playoffs A-Rod hit .320 with 3 HRs and 8 RBIs. Clearly, he has performed exceptionally well on the big stage and could very well do so again. Basically, he has had just as many exceptional post-seasons as he has bad ones, so the potential is there for him to be dominant again.

Finally, the best part about signing A-Rod is the fact that, although he will cost us a lot of dinero, he will not cost a single prospect. Currently, the Angels are rumored to be in the running for Miguel Cabrera. Undoubtedly, Miggy is talented, young, and fat. The Marlins are looking at picking up top-notch, major league ready talent in exchange for him. According to rumors, the Fish want Howie Kendrick plus either Weaver, Saunders, or Adenhart, plus either Napoli or Mathis or maybe even Brandon Wood. That’s a lot of young, cheap talent to throw to another team in exchange for a player who is eating his way to a Hall of Fame bid from Sizzler. Not to mention, Cabrera will be a free agent in 2010 and will entertain offers merely a notch below those A-Rod is searching for. Whereas, with A-Rod, you shift Brandon Wood to shortstop, keep Howie, keep your young nucleus of starting pitchers and catchers and be a legitimate World Series contender for the next 8 years. I think that would pay for A-Rod.

My Team Did WHAT?!

OK readers, we have all been there before, the GM of our favorite team decides to make a roster change that leaves us the fans completely baffled and enraged saying "Oh no he di'in't!" Whether it is a rookie draft pick that we all know is way too over-hyped (Michael Olowakandi anyone) or a monster trade/free agent acquisition that brings some prima-donna superstar to your team that you absolutely hated watching play before and cannot possible imagine cheering for. Say goodbye to your team's young prospects and hello to higher ticket prices. We have all been in this "glass cage of emotion. The bad man punted baxter!" Sure, it is easy to second-guess and nobody likes monday-morning quarterbacking, BUT some of these things really are no brainers (how does Adrian Peterson slip to #7 in the NFL draft?!) And how come it always seems to be the same GM's making the right moves? Is it simply a case of OVER-thinking much like most fantasy football GMs do every week? Or is there something else going on here? I want each of us to play GM for the day and make a roster decision based on the current big free agent move pending in Major League Baseball right now, Mr. Clean himself, Alex Rodriguez. What do you as fans think of this guy and would you go after him as the GM of your team?

My answer, speaking as the GM for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Orange County or whatever we are called these days, would be a resounding NO. Do NOT go after A-Rod. I repeat, Do NOT SEEK THE TREASURE! Why do I not like him so much? Well, you certainly cannot argue against his business acumen (about to sign the biggest contract in sports history breaking the old MLB record held by, ummm let me think, oh yeah HIM) or his ability to play baseball. Someone is willing to pay him that much money, so he is going after it. Does he value winning and his fit with a team more than making a few more million each season? I think not, and as a business man you cannot fault that reasoning. But as a fan and teammate that does not exactly inspire. And no doubt the guy is a machine at the plate and can play D (as long as he is not in the NY tabloids). BUT he is not a clubhouse guy. He is not a team captain. He is not a leader. In fact, it is his sheer dollar and sense approach to the game that makes his teammates not want to hang with the guy, let alone follow him out on the field. And it has to be hard working with someone that is more worried about getting the right amount of gel in his hair than what's going on in his teammates' lives. The cohesion in the Angels clubhouse is strong, I enjoy watching this group play and I do not think bringing A-Rod in (strictly looking at intangibles) is a good decision.

Working as the GM for a club I think there has to be something said for that one intangible ingredient that you cannot pay for that is absolutely VITAL to a team's success, chemistry. Now don't get me wrong here, I struggled through chemistry in school (but I did learn how to distill my own beer-thank you Mrs Becker) but all athletes have been on teams that have chemistry and teams that simply do not and there is a huge difference. Most of us can even point to lesser successful teams that maybe had MORE talent than other teams but achieved less because the team lacked any chemistry together. Chemistry doesn't necessarily mean all the players have to go to the movies together or throw monday night Jenga parties (although that doesn't hurt, JENGA!) But it is chemistry on the playing field that is crucial, and the addition or subtraction of one or two players here or there can greatly effect that cohesiveness.

And what is the biggest chemistry killer? Egos. The bigger the ego, the greater the tendency for team chemistry to fall by the wayside. And the greater the number of egos the greater the death of team cohesiveness. Are there examples where this is not the case? Yes, but they are the exceptions. You need a special group and a special coach to make it work. And sometimes having just ONE big ego can work because the others can manage to work with it. Those egos have to realize that they NEED their teammates to win and they eventually give in to that fact and value winning a championship over personal accomplishments. The Spurs are a great example of a group of selfless teammates willing to put egos aside for the common goal of winning titles. They have four bona fide superstars in the league and yet they all sacrifice and it starts with Tim Duncan who is not about me but rather about the team. A-Rod in my opinion is not one of those superstars, he wants to sign the biggest contract and put up regular season numbers so that he can sign an even bigger next contract. He is a member of the Wu-Tang financial group, CashRulesEverythingAroundMe.

But enough with the intangibles (which clearly do not favor A-Rod in my opinion) and on to the tangibles of statistics and of course the very tangible salary that he is reportedly asking for. A-Rod had a monster season last year:
AVG .314
HR 54
RBI 156
OBP .422
SLG .645
MVP numbers. And his career stats are off the chart as well, with 11 full seasons played he has already hit over 500 homers and his career average is over .300. Of all baseball players at age 30, he was the first in home runs and runs scored. Can't deny the guys talent, although further analysis of his hitting in post-season play does show some weaknesses, especially over the past few seasons. Since joining the Yankees in 2004, he has hit .244 in the playoffs. And from 2005-07 in the playoffs his average dropped even further to an abysmal .159, hitting just one home-run over those three playoff years. The term CLUTCH does not come to mind when thinking of this guy and analyzing his post-season performance proves that to be true.

Now on to his potential contract, the terms are something in the ball park of $300-350 Million Dollars over the next 10 years. "Why make it millions when it could be billions?" That equates to a yearly salary of $30-35 Million Bones. That per season number is MORE than the combined salaries of 4 ENTIRE TEAM Payrolls last season. For that kind of salary, as a GM I would have to be getting more than just regular season numbers. And I'm sorry but I just don't see A-Rod bringing those intangibles like leadership to the table either. But who knows, maybe he can pitch, and who needs a catcher or outfielders or infielders anyways.
Let me know what you think.

Poll Results

Poll results are officially in and the readers have spoken! Well, sort of anyways. We have a TIE for the greatest sports rivalry of all-time between UCLA vs. USC and Lakers vs. Celtics. West Siiiide! Both of these epic showdowns received 7 votes, or 29% each of the total 24 votes tallied. These storied matchups are rich with history and legendary performances. But let us look forward at some of the upcoming games and see, as Bon Jovi says, if we can make a memory.

The Stats:
The Bruins (121 total team national championships of which 100 are NCAA Titles)
The Trojans (106 total team national championships of which 86 are NCAA Titles)
They meet this year on the football field at the Coliseum on Saturday Dec. 1st. Should be a good one, especially after UCLA upset SC last year on the last game of the regular season knocking them out of the championship bowl game (Ouchie). This rivalry continues to thrive and I expect some highly-competitive Pac-10 BBall games between these cross-town rivals this season as well. Pre-season college basketball rankings have UCLA #2 and USC #18 in the country. Both teams add extremely strong recruiting to their already powerful lineups going into this year (read OJ Mayo and Kevin Love). Get those tivos set to record!

The Stats
Los Angeles Lakers (most NBA Finals appearances (28) and the second most championships (14). The Franchise has only missed the NBA Playoffs 5 times in their 60 year history.)
Boston Celtics (Most NBA Championships (16). Most consecutive NBA Championships (8). The Celtics have faced the Lakers a total of 10 times in the NBA Finals, winning 7 times).
As for the NBA schedule, the Lakers play the Celtics first on Friday Nov 23rd in Boston and then the second time on Sunday Dec 30th in LA. The Lakers have had the advantage over the Celts in the past few years (although neither are near the levels when the rivalry was at it's peak in the 80s) but could there be a shift in dominance this year? I can think of three big reasons why that could be true.
Thanks for voting and remember we at For Love Of The Game always value your opinion... as long as it supports our own.

NBA-tastic!

The NBA season kicks off morgen after an off-season filled with referee gambling scandals, huge franchise player trades, and of course Stephen Jackson shooting at someone in a club. He crazy. But don't frown David Stern, at least no one employed by your league has been torturing any puppies this off-season. It could be worse.

What to Watch For: Yes the NBA Season is long (nothing compared to baseball yawn) and yes sometimes watching an early season game can result in Damn-This-Is-Lame Disease BUT there is still plenty of exciting things for us to enjoy. Let me enlighten you with these awesome lists!

My Favorite Players:
1.Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns)- representing for all white guys in the world. OH CANADA!
2.Dwight Howard (Orlando Magic)-bringing the power and the funk back. Gotta love it.
3.Kobe Bryant (LA Lakers)- best player in the game, has every shot and every move and does it with ease. Doesn't hurt that he plays for my team (or at least he did when I wrote this).
4.KG (Boston Celtics)-this guy loves to play bball and it shows on the court. I wonder if I will start to hate him as the Celts beat up on Lakes this season. He could be off the list soon.
5.Gilbert Arenas (Washington Wizards)-aka Hibachi, Agent Zero, Magic Man. This guy has GAME. And he has a chip on his shoulder, which means he competes harder and harder every season to prove the doubters wrong.

Prediction Time, here is my Top 5 Teams:
1.Spurs
2.Suns
3.Mavs (only if they don't play the Warriors)
4.Celtics (haven't seen them play but this is a superstar league and they have 3 of 'em)
5.Rockets (Definitely could see them making a push although they are situated in the brutal Southwest Division. They have underachieved since McGrady and Yao united so if they stay healthy who knows)

My picks to win each division.
Pacific Division: Suns
Can't deny the regular season success of D'Antoni's system. And when you have the best playmaker in the league setting the table for all these weapons (Amare, Matrix, Diaw, Barbosa, Bell) it is almost impossible to stop. And fun to watch to boot. Like the pickup of Grant Hill in the offseason, adds one more big-time clutch veteran guy to the mix.

Southwest Division: Spurs
This division is loaded, in fact three of my top five in the league are in this one division. Texas not only has the monopoly on spoiled rich no-good sons of oil barons but also three of the best teams in the NBA. Go figure.

Northwest Division: Nuggets
"We're talkin bout PRAAACTICE man. Praactice." I do believe the Nuggets will figure out a way to share the ball (among AI, Melo, the return of Martin, Nene) and gel together as a team. Carmelo continues to improve and barring no more swinging left hook suspensions, I predict they will beat out the Jazz in a tight divisional race.

Atlantic Division: Celtics
"Me and KGeeeee!" Yes the Big Ticket is in Boston and joining him there will be none other than Jesus Shuttlesworth, the Chosen One. As if things couldn't get any better for the city of Boston already. Oh yeah and Paul Pierce is still there too. Should make for some killer highlights. This WAS a race between the Raptors and the Nets last season, but too much money for Vinsanity (and his fadeaways) in his offseason contract extension will doom the Nets and Toronto is in Canada. 'Nough said.

Southeast Division: Magic
This young up and coming team is going to surprise some people this season. Howard is a beast and continues to improve. I think he turns 16 later this year. He young. His experience on the Olympic team and his work ethic are sure fire signs of more great things to come from this man child. Picking up Lewis in the off-season was a good, albeit pricey move ($118Mill over 6 years if you're wondering) and I think Nelson at PG has great potential. Wizards will be in the fight, especially if Hibachi can keep hitting game winners. Heat will be in it if D Wade is healthy.

Central Division: Pistons
Detroit is always a contender and I predict another division title this year although the Baby Bulls continue to get better and better, just not there yet. If Deng's learning curve can grow as much as it did last season then the sky is the limit for that team full of young talent. I can't believe I am still talking about the East. Next!

Feel Good Story of '07-'08 Season:
Last year we got the Warriors in the playoffs with Baron and his celebrity bay area friends marching through the Playoffs. Not to mention D Fischer's remarkable story and perseverance hitting game winners all while dealing with his son's illness. This year I think the feel good team will be none-other than the Charlotte Bobcats. Yes that's right, I said it here first. The Bobcats. Riding the momentum built from pre-game warmup mix tapes by part-owner Nelly and halftime pep talks from part-owner Michael Jordan, they will rise to above .500 ball. Which in the East is like a 3 seed right?

OK that's the scoop, I wish I had better predictions for the LA teams but losing Brand in the pre-season is a brutal blow to the Clips and the Kobe drama for the Lakers will be a distraction all season long. Let me know what you think.

Just Try Harder

I came across this story while perusing ESPN this morning and I have to say this is definitely a first. I mean you always hear unruly fans calling out players for lack of effort or saying some guy tanked this game or that. But to come from an official DURING a match? Surprising indeed. It's not like this was some little league game and the coach was like "Billy, stop being such a pansy!" No this was a professional athlete in a professional tournament being told by the chair umpire to quote-unquote "TRY HARDER."

This story takes place in Russia at the ATP St. Petersburg Open (this is tennis for those of you who are afraid of any sports other than football). Nikolai Davydenko (the top-seed in the tournament) was playing a match against and Marian Cilic (Marian who?) that he eventually lost 1-6, 7-5, 6-1. During the match, after Davydenko's 6th Double Fault in the 3rd set, he was reprimanded by the chair umpire saying "Seriously dude? C'mon." Afterwards Davydenko was fined $2,000 for lack of best effort.

As for Davydenko's reaction, well after the match he said "this is just outrageous. how does the chair umpire know what I was trying to do? I was so upset with the whole thing I started crying." Talk about insult to injury. Oh and I forgot to mention this is the same guy who is already being investigated by the ATP for a large match betting scandal. Oops.

Everyone has bad days, and every athlete is bound to have some bad games. But where is the line between just being off that day and not putting forth the effort? So it begs the question, what performances or athletes can you remember watching where you thought something was just not right and wished you could have fined him/her for lack of best effort? Talk to me people.

World Series Preview

The Sox will win in 5 or less. It pains me to say it, but it’s true and everyone knows it. The Rockies have one, and only one, shot, and that is to somehow take one of the first two games in Fenway. Otherwise, they will realize their magical, mystery tour has run its course and that they are no match for this actual professional baseball team they are facing. Right now the Rockies have forgotten how they needed to win 21 of 22 games to make the playoffs and become the National League representative in the World Series. I don’t mean they have forgotten that they won that many games, rather I mean they have forgotten that they were playing in the lesser division occupied by AAAA teams with no discernible quality opponents. Now they are facing one of the best teams in the grown-up portion of the MLB. And not just one of the best teams, but I would say the best playoff team in the bunch.

Obviously, having Beckett pitch at least twice in a series gives a team an outstanding opportunity to win, but there is also the way this lineup confronts the playoffs and big moments in games that puts it above other playoff teams. They are baseball’s version of the Lakers between 2000-2002 (and it hurts me to no end to write that). During the regular season this group of guys got by on their talent against the lesser teams to get into the playoffs, ala the Lakers coasting through regular season discontent and boredom. Upon arriving at the playoffs, both teams woke up and turned it up to 11. Both teams have their Big Two (Shaq, Kobe v. Papi and Manny). One cannot win without the other, but together the pairing is capable of taking on all contenders. Manny coasted all season, living in his own world and vacationing for 24 games with a less than severe injury. However, once the playoffs started there hasn’t been a more locked in player. He is unstoppable right now. Papi is slowly crumbling and looks suspiciously like Mo Vaughn, but currently the guy is a wrecking ball dismantling opposing pitchers.

Plus, the Sox have their supporting cast members all of whom play to their strengths and know their roles. Mike Lowell is their version of Derek Fisher. Steady, smart, and only capable of thriving in certain environments (Fenway). Kevin Youkilis is Rick Fox. Although he probably could not pull off a threesome in a movie, Youk does the little things a team needs to win and is a grinder. Fox realized that he could build a niche for himself with the Lakes as a gritty tough-minded defender who knocked down the occasional three. Varitek is Big Shot Bob. Both are clutch and by this point in their careers seemingly on their last legs. Of course, now Horry is vying for his seventh title, so Varitek could have some more fuel in the tank. Coco Crisp is Devean George. Fans don’t know if either player has talent, but they swear they’ve seen flashes of something that could be talent. Finally, J.D. Drew is Glenn Rice, each a version of a worthless, high-paid player (for the sake of the other members of these teams, Lindsay Hunter is Pedroia and B-Shaw is Lugo. Madsen is Ben Affleck).

The key element of that Laker squad was its ability to flip the switch at important times in games, seasons, and especially during the playoffs. It was uncanny how they would appear utterly lost for vast portions of games. Then without much fanfare the momentum would swing and they would jump all over the opponent just when it appeared all was lost. Only during the 2001 campaign were they locked in for the entire playoffs as they went 15-1 and crushed everyone, yet even that season they needed a regular-season ending 8 game win streak to earn a solid playoff seeding. Boston has exhibited this similar ability over the course of these playoffs. In the Halo series they toyed with them in Game 2 until Manny homered to win it, and then systematically crushed their spirit in Game 3 for the sweep. Against Cleveland, the Sox fell behind 3 games to 1 and appeared to be finished. Yet, quickly, efficiently and ruthlessly, they won the next three games by a combined score of 30-5.

The Sox have successfully followed the Lakers format of dominating when it matters and barring the Rockies pulling off a Piston sized upset, the Sox will win another title. Hopefully, the Sox will also follow the Laker blueprint for rebuilding after the glory days have passed.

Fast Times at Rose Bowl High

And now for some On-Scene Reporting (yes this is a first and considering our dedication probably the last) from the UCLA vs CAL football game this past weekend. This story has something for everyone; drunken cougars, obnoxious co-eds, cussing med-students, cock fighting, and a shocking finale!

Before this adventure begins, let me start with a sidenote: Rose Bowl parking blows chunks! Moving on...

12:45PM: We arrive at our parking place on some golf course neighboring the Rose Bowl (great spot for a stadium!) after being guided by the highly-trained security crew of 12-yr olds. Safety first. We chug a few beers and begin the hike to the Bowl. With tasty barbecue aromas wafting in the air and footballs whizzing past us we navigated from the 15th hole bunker to the entrance.
1:15PM: Stop for quick hot dog and nacho purchase, feeling much happier.
1:25PM: Make it to our seats, which are located at field level (possibly even below field level) in the back of one of the end zones. I comment to the group "Damn we be close."
1:45PM: First spotting of extremely intoxicated cougar sitting across the aisle from us. Well sitting is not completely accurate, laying on the seat is more like it. One shoe missing, arms flailing uncontrollably. Best guess on age would put her at least 42 yrs old. We giggle to ourselves.
1:55PM: First of two UNREAL UCLA touchdown catches in our endzone. High fives all around.
2:15PM: UCLA male cheerleaders dazzle our section with their jazz hands.
2:30PM: Half-time. High School dance teams demonstrate ability to sway side-to-side while simultaneously holding a flag. Excitement overcomes the crowd.
2:45PM: Second UCLA touchdown catch in our endzone. Cal defender mistimes jump and UCLA receiver elevates for the sick grab. I comment to myself "I could've done that."
3:00PM: Hammered 42-yr old reaches tipping point and projectile vomiting ensues. Giggling stops.
3:15PM: Something happens on the other end of the field, probably was pretty cool.
3:30PM: Apparently CAL has been scoring too cause look up and they have the lead 21-20 starting the 4th Qtr. Also the slurred cuss words from some girl wearing a CAL sweatshirt have drowned out the fight songs. "F-you UCLA! Who smarter! Who smarter! F-all y'all!" I find out later that she is a soon-to-be doctor. She just wants to help people.
3:45PM: Dramatic late 4th Qtr drive by CAL (trailing 23-21 after a Bruin field goal) leads to a 3rd down and 5 yards to go with about 2 minutes remaining at the Bruin 30 yard line. CAL runs a short sideline route but pass is delivered late and UCLA defender cuts in front and picks it off running down the sideline all the way to the house. Pandemonium overtakes the Rose Bowl. Lots of "did that just happen?" looks around me.
4:00PM: We begin to leave the Stadium as chants of OVVVERR-RAAATEED! rumble from the UCLA fans. 86,000 screaming people, college football at its best.
4:35PM: We somehow find our car. Exiting the golf course the "Zipper Effect" losing out to the "My Car Is Bigger Than Your's Effect". Isn't road rage grand?
5-6:00PM: Drive home is peppered with yet more sights of human stupidity consisting of one car backing up on the freeway (I guess she missed her exit), two separate incidents of roadside peeing (girls look funny trying to do that, very classy), and of course countless numbers of fans sticking their heads out sunroofs chanting indecipherable gibberish. College education at it's best.

Final Thought: Listening to the bands of UCLA and CAL battle during the game I was greatly confused to learn that both schools have the exact same fight song. Talk about a mind-f*#k!

And Now for Something Completely Different

Today, I am providing you, our doting fan(s), with a little something off of the beaten path. I am going to review an album of great artistic significance. Now you may be thinking to yourself, what is so unique about reviewing music? Well, the way I do it is unique in that I only listen to the songs once and I only use the 30-second sample provided by iTunes. Based on this extensive research I form a completely arbitrary opinion about the song and ultimately the album.

For my first foray into reviewing music, I am going to check out the new Jennifer Lopez album, Brave. Is there always room for J-Lo? Let’s find out.

1. Stay Together – This song chronicles a young woman’s desire to fight through the issues plaguing her relationship with an untoward young man. Near as I can figure she is compelled to stay together instead of breaking up. Moving on…
2. Forever – I don’t know, she sings “follow me” for what feels forever and then some really cheesy, simplistic synthesizer beats come in as the chorus fades out. Definite chart topper.
3. Hold It Don’t Drop It – “I can’t control it, you’ve put something into me.” Hmm, methinks J-Lo is hinting at something here. No mention of what should be held onto, however I could venture a guess that she’s not talking about her virginity.
4. Do It Well – Is it me or is this title suggestive? Does anyone remember when J-Lo was on In Living Color as one of the “Fly Girls”? She did not look good. In fact, I would say she looked rather manish. Oh, the song’s over.
5. Gotta Be There – J-Lo flaunts her geography skills naming a variety of US cities she is touring through and how her “friend” has gotta be there. Some could argue she is channeling Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys with this tactic. That argument is probably a loser.
6. Never Gonna Give Up – “It’s so good, don’t wanna hear no woulda, coulda, maybe I shoulda stayed with someone who never knew I was so true.” Tough to tell what she is NOT going to give up, but I recommend her day job. Zing. Criticizing is fun.
7. Mile In These Shoes – Oh, thank goodness someone is brave enough to stand up to the world and talk about how tough she is for being in the perpetual media spotlight. That J-Lo, she’s one bad-ass, Gucci toting, Benz driving, bling wearing, champion of the working class. Stay strong you sultry souljah.
8. The Way It Is – I completely blanked out with this one.
9. Be Mine – Is it a sign of trouble when an alleged songwriter borrows lyrics from those awful Valentine’s Day candies? The B-side to this song is “Forever Yours.”
10. I Need Love – This is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of what J-Lo needs. Really, I think she needs to catch a clue and realize she’s dating Marc Anthony. What the hell is she thinking? He looks like Frankenstein’s monster with a heroin addiction. Is that mean? I may have crossed a line. I’ll go back to mocking her music.
11. Wrong When You’re Gone – “I just feel bad cause now all I’m left with is these shoulda, coulda, wouldas cause you’re gone. Now I’m out here trippin’ cause you came up missin’ and my head keeps spinnin’…” I dare say the lyrics of the gods could not sound as majestic in scope or in emotion. I can’t wait until Bono starts using “trippin” in his songs. I think the world needs that. Plus, I should point out that I am only listening to the 30 second clips, yet somehow she worked "shoulda, woulda, coulda" into two different songs and I happened to hear them. I'm no expert, but that probably is not a sign of strong song-writing skills.
12. Brave – Let me tell you about bravery. J-Lo thinks it is about facing a world where either she has lost another guy, or can’t match her purse to her sunglasses. I beg to differ. What I’m doing for the entertainment of our reader(s) is brave. Warning them about these self-aggrandizing songs is brave.
13. Do It Well (featuring Ludacris?) – It could be that Luda sold out. On the other hand, maybe he busts out some lines about getting girls into their birthday suuuuuiiiittttss, which could redeem him. Unfortunately, he is not heard in the 30 seconds, so who knows what his role is.

J-Lo fans will be satisfied with this recent effort, however they have no taste. Buyers beware. I need a shower.

Cry Me A River

OK fellas, today's topic is all about crying. I know I know "There's no crying in baseball" but let's face it sometimes we all need a good cry-fest. Especially after an episode of Gilmore Girls. But that's neither here nor there.

Today was officially Day One of Joe Torre's Goodbye Tour from New York (tickets available now!) and watching highlights from the press conference I just couldn't help but think of my all-time favorite sports cry moments from days past. Sure Joe held it together pretty well up there, ESPN didn't get the free flowing waterworks they were hoping for (the columnists were one step away from asking about his battle with cancer or the time when he lost his dog fido in that tragic frisbee incident). But what other moments come to mind that make you sit back and say "Damn, that dude is really crying."

CRYING COACH: The one coach that jumps out to me has to be Dick Vermeil. And not even a single particular moment, they all just sort of run together as one big waterfall of emotion. Get the kleenex ready, put on some Death Cab, pour a glass of wine and curl up on the couch as Rudy plays on the TV cause we are getting in that crying mood. Just breathe. Nobody did it better or more often.

VICTORY CRY: Of course when you think of players crying in sports it usually comes following the big championship game victory, a la MJ hugging the NBA trophy in the locker room after winning his first title. That was pure emotion.

DEFEAT CRY: Gotta go with the guy playing for Kentucky after Laettner hit that miraculous shot sending Duke to the title game of the NCAA Tourney back in the early 90s. Close second and more recent would have to be Adam Morrison after losing early in the NCAAs. Now THAT'S what I call crying!

MOST NON-BELIEVABLE CRIER: One athlete I have trouble believing all the emotion and hoopla is Roger Federer. This guy does the ultimate body collapse fall to the ground as if he's just been sucker-punched every time he wins. And it's not like he wins infrequently. We get to witness this every couple months. Watch the tapes, it's uncanny.

In closing, let me just sum up how I feel about crying, I'm... I.. I'm.. one... I'm sorry, I just... I got a little... just... be... strong.

Fight For Your Market Capitalist Rights

The New England Patriots recently won the right to obtain the names of season ticket holders who sell their tickets on Stubhub (an online ticket reseller), which they may use to revoke those people’s season tickets. (See link: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3069481). As is the age old custom of ticket scalping, ticket holders would sell unwanted tickets for, ideally, greater than face-value. In one example from the article, a pair of $125 tickets to an upcoming game against the New York Jets was being resold for $1300.05.

Privacy issues aside, the greatest threat in this case is the idea that valuable commodities such as these tickets cannot be transferred in exchange for their increase in value. These tickets, in my opinion, became the property of the ticket-holders the minute they made their final payment to the team. At that time the holders should be allowed to do whatever they please with those tickets, including selling them for ridiculous amounts of money to fools who want to see the Jets lose by 65. According to my math, which is highly questionable, the holder of the $125 tickets shelled out about $2000 for the pair of tickets for the entire season. Thus, by selling his seats to a game that will be a blowout and of little interest, he will be recouping 65% of his costs. Now some idiot Jets fan gets to see his team get crushed by one of the greatest teams in recent memory, the season-ticket holder gets almost all of his tickets paid for and he can spend an extra weekend with his spouse pretending that she means more to him than the Pats. As Michael Scott would say, that is a win, win, win scenario.

Owners of teams raise ticket prices all the time, based on the idea that the demand will not evaporate with the increase. So, why shouldn’t ticket holders share that same ability? Rise up and fight for your right to resell your tickets for exorbitant amounts of money, which is the American way.*

* = As with all of my posts, this comes with the caveat that Angel and Laker fans cannot sell their playoff tickets as we should pride ourselves to be true fans above such petty concerns like making a profit.

Get Ready For More Yankee/Red Sox Madness

According to a report in the Washington Times:

The four games [of the NLCS] on TBS drew an average rating of about 3.0, including a new record-low of 2.2 for Friday night's Game 2, according to Nielsen Media Research. The previous record-low for an LCS game was 4.9. Each ratings point equals about 1.1 million households.

Ordinarily, I could care less about the ratings for a playoff series. However, these ratings mean a great deal to any fan of a team not in New York or Boston. These ratings tell the networks, ESPN, and all other sports media outlets that the only way to attract readers and viewers is to focus even more on the Yankees and the Red Sox, which is why we are currently inundated with stories like: will A-Rod opt out? Is Dice-K a bust? Will the Steinbrenner boys fire Torre? What is Manny smoking? And so on. Unfortunately for those of us more concerned about other teams, these ratings are going to give us even more of these stories over the course of the Series and through the offseason, while the rest of the league is pushed to the back pages. These ratings signal to the shortsighted fools running the networks and Baseball that the only thing the viewing public cares about is a series involving the Yankees and the Red Sox.

However, the problem is not that two teams from secondary media markets were playing in the NLCS; rather the problem is that baseball chooses to only market the marquee franchises in New York and Boston, thereby limiting the public’s knowledge of other intriguing teams. Now baseball sits on the precipice of a World Series featuring the Indians versus the Rockies, which no doubt will be a ratings disaster for Fox. Yet, it shouldn’t be a ratings disaster, as there are a myriad of intriguing storylines from such a series: the first World Series for the Rox, Cleveland hasn’t won a pennant since 1948, Todd Helton’s first trip to the World Series, the Rockies and their amazing streak of winning 21 out of 22 games to get to the Series, World Series games in the snow, World Series Games played in the thin air of Denver, Chief Wahoo, Rick Vaughan and Pedro Cerrano. The Wild Thing in Colorado, next on Fox.

An example of what Baseball should be doing can be gleaned from the NBA. The genius of David Stern and the NBA was their use of the stars in the game to generate fan followings and interest in the various playoff series’. Stern found a way to focus on players from nearly every team and especially the perennial championship contenders to ensure that each series was followed by fans all over the country (i.e. in the 90’s with MJ, Pippen, Stockton, Malone, Robinson, Kemp, Payton, Hakeem, Miller, Shaq, Penny). It should be noted that the players on this list all played for mid-market teams. Admittedly, this contributed to the one-on-one nature of the professional game today, but at the time it raised the public profile of the league to incredible heights. Baseball has attempted a similar push, but has focused solely on Jeter, A-Rod, Manny, Big Papi, and to a lesser extent Pujols and Vlad. What about Matt Holliday, a near-Triple Crown winner this year (he led the National League in RBIs and Batting Average and was in the top five for home runs with 36)? What about Troy Tulowitzki, the rangy shortstop who should win the NL Rookie of the Year award? C.C. Sabathia? Pronk? The list could go on, but you would not know it if you merely followed the MLB commercials or ESPN highlights over the course of the season. Baseball’s exclusion of stars from mid-market teams puts it at a severe disadvantage in terms of generating fan interest for this upcoming World Series.

By ignoring the rest of its teams, by focusing on these two admittedly legendary franchises, Baseball has guaranteed that any series involving other teams will turn off casual fans. Good, interesting baseball will be played in a series involving these two teams. Newsworthy sports stories will come out of this series. Moreover, a number of talented, exciting players will be making their World Series debuts. And all of it will be missed, because the general public has been conditioned by Baseball, ESPN, and Fox to only care about the Yankees and Red Sox.

Trade Kobe

Dear Laker Front Office:

Please trade Kobe Bryant.

Please ship this malcontent to another team, so we may be rid of the non-stop soap opera and get back to what matters: winning basketball games. He complained about not being the Alpha Dog while Shaq was in town. He pouted about the treatment he received from Phil in his first tenure with the team. He forced the Lakers to trade Shaq by filing for free agency. And now he complains about not having adequate talent around him to win a title. Nothing can please Kobe, and even when he gets what he wants he changes his mind and blames everyone else for creating his mess.

Please stop being blinded by his jaw-dropping highlights to realize that he is all flash and no substance. Yes, he scored 81 points in a game and has the uncanny ability to knock down game-winners, but he has won all of 4 playoff games in the post-Shaq era. His teams have finished 7th in the division the last two seasons and been sent home in the first round of the playoffs both times. And it could be argued that there is more collective talent on these teams than there was on the championship squads. Currently, he is surrounded by Odom, Bynum, Turiaf, Walton, Evans, Crittendon, Farmar, Fisher, Radman, Mihm, and Brown. Those championship teams had Shaq, Fisher, Fox, Horry, Green, Shaw, and Devean George. Oh, and I forgot about Madsen. With the exception of Shaq, the young talent surrounding Kobe now is arguably as good if not better than the savvy veterans on the championship teams. If he is as valuable as he outwardly should be, he would be able to take this group of young, talented players and move them beyond the first round. In fact, he seemed poised to do just that last season as the team started 26-13. Then the injuries mounted, the wheels came off, and the painful off-season began. A true leader, a selfless teammate, and a team legend would have carried the team through the injuries, through a disappointing first-round exit and vowed to come back stronger, more committed, and more supportive of the team the next season. Unfortunately, Kobe lacks such leadership skills. He is not capable of carrying teammates. He is only adept at bashing them to fans outside of supermarkets, in the media, and also behind closed doors. I don’t question his unparalleled desire to compete. I question his ability to lead, to support, and to be a teammate. Without those skills all we are left with are memories of an 81 point game against Toronto and first-round flameouts against Phoenix. Individual triumphs and team failures.

Please realize that the only way to win another championship is to begin by trading the best player in the game.*

* = any trade must be for a player or group of players from Phoenix, Dallas, Washington, or Chicago as mentioned in an article on ESPN.com. Any trade involving the Lakers acquiring crappy players is not acceptable.

Superjock

Writing the last post about cross-hybrid combinations got me thinking about what athletes from certain sports would be absolutely sick crossing over into other sports. I remember watching an NBA game from early last season where the Cavs were playing the Spurs and Lebron James had about 5 And 1 buckets in the FIRST HALF! He was getting into the lane taking huge hits and still finishing layups and dunks as if he hadn't been touched. Light bulb flashed in my head, hmmm this guy is pretty strong. Takes hits and keeps going, runs as fast up and down the court as ANYONE in the league and oh by the way clocks in at 6'8" Two-Fifty! He debuted on SNL for the season-opener (which could be a-whole-nother post about why athletes should NOT try and do comedy) and let's just say standing on stage next to the cast it looked like he had eaten Fred Armisen. He's a big dude.

And so I am here making a push for Bron Bron to think about pursuing a multiple sports career, a la Bo Jackson. OK bad example, that whole broken hip thing didn't work out very well, so for arguments sake, let's just assume injury is not a factor. Can you name one NFL team that would not sign him right now if he came to their camp? Hellz no. He would INSTANTLY be the best receiver in the game (yes better than moss and T.O.) and with minimal work could be the best power-back as well. Can you imagine a cornerback trying to tackle him coming full speed down the field? He better try and go for the legs, oh but wait Lebron can jump literally 4 feet in the air so good luck with that.

Outside of the obvious over-lapping of seasons and possible injury implication issues; this would be a no-brainer from a business perspective. I am no math guy but two salaries are better than one no? And can you think of a better ad campaign than "Bo knows..."? I would even go so far as to issue David Stern and Roger Goodell a Call-to-Action that they need to make this deal happen. Help me help you. I am saying it publicly here that I want to see Lebron on an NFL team.

Or at the very least can we get a sports reality show where we have top professional athletes from different sports competing against other professional athletes in a slew of various sports (essentially intramurals for pros). If they can get Clyde Drexler on dancing with the stars, I think we can get him in a little friendly high diving competition. We could call the show The Ultimate Competitor. Or maybe just simply Superjock.

Who doesn't want to see Tiger try and hit a 90mph fastball? Is his talent limited to hitting non-moving objects? Which skill is harder to perfect? I know for damn sure that a lot of baseball players can shoot scratch golf but can many golfers hit a baseball? Questions like this one would be answered with this show and it would make for some good television. Who's with me? What other athletes would you like to see playing another sport? What other names can you think of for this new Survivor: Sportsman Edition?

Mystical Magical Creatures

OK so we have all heard of Ligers, I mean they're prally like my favorite animal. BUT can you imagine my disbelief when I came across the much lesser-known yet just as special Zonkey. Yes you heard correctly, the Zonkey, half-Zeebra half-Donkey. This plucky side-kick character is best known for his witty comments and surprising quickness. I challenge anyone to try and catch a Zonkey. It just can't be done. Seriously, they will make you look foolish and then crack a joke about it.

How does this pertain to sports you ask? Well I was watching a Lakers pre-season game the other night (pathetic I know) and it just hit me like a ton of bricks, Kobe Bryant is a mystical magical creature much like the legendary Liger. He is not simply one genotype like most of us, but a special combination of equally bad-ass yet different types. Kobe is a hybrid between Michael Jordan, Jerry West, Oscar Robertson, and Keyshawn Johnson.

Let's analyze it, he has MJ's ability to get to the hoop and hang for the finish. Not to mention his tenacity on the defensive-end. He even sounds like him in his interviews, I am still waiting for the patented Jordan-tongue to show up sometime soon. Then of course you have all those game-winners, is there anyone you would rather have with the ball as the clock winds down than Mr. Clutch? Jerry West is the fracken Logo of the NBA shooting a 63 foot game-tying bucket, you can't get more money than that and clearly Kobe has those "no pressure genes" in him. And then on to the ball-handling skills reminiscent of another shooting guard known simply as "The Big O". His handles are not just impressive visually but more importantly they are effective dribbling skills. Of course he has some Keyshawn Johnson in him as he definitely wants the damn ball (which as all Lakers fans know led to superman heading east).

Anyways, let me know what you think. Maybe there is a better combo describing Kobe's skills? Are there other athletes in your opinion that appear to be a cross between previous greats? How about a little discussion on what combination would make the greatest athlete? All sports included, football, bball, baseball, ping-pong, jai-alai, etc.
Let me throw out a mix of ernie mckracken and donny (from Big Lebowski) as the ultimate bowling machine. "You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels". Unstoppable.

What's the Point? You ask...

In one hasty moment of annoyance after having listened to yet another over-the-top, obnoxious rant from (insert any sports analyst here) I decided to start my own site devoted to discussing sports news/stories. After all, it is the 21st century and who doesn't have a blog these days. Not to mention the fact that while perusing the google news section I came across a story of an elementary school kid and his highly-regarded site about pokemon. It was time for my voice to be heard.

And not in some important "listen to me on my soap-box" kind of way or anything, but just simple thoughts on the subject of sports. Because let's face it, sports is the great escape. Sports represent for most people either a flash back to a memory of joy when they used to PLAY (usually while "Glory Days" blasts in the background) or a way to leave their average normal everyday existence and simply enjoy athletic greatness. Sports are true entertainment without all the special effects and trickery (performance-enhancing drugs notwithstanding).

And yet sports do have the potential to transcend what we think possible. Whether that is overcoming huge personal trials and tribulations or cultural differences, sports have the ability to bring people and nations together. I mean what else can turn full-grown Home Depot card-carrying men to complete cry-fests a la that YouTube guy talking about Britney. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! Sure the occasional movie (Fever Pitch) or television commercial (Mastercard) can do that too, but not like watching your beloved team make it to the championship game only to lose in the final seconds of play.

So no matter if you are a sports nut or just like watching the games for the uniforms (Ralphie), please comment and talk amongst yourselves as this site is meant to be interactive and fun for all. Let the games begin!