Game On

OK so I don't think this is real but I don't care so much. It is cool. Enjoy. Terryl and I did this stuff all around Wolfenbuttel (mainly because the hausmeister wouldn't let us in the gym)...

L.A. Confidential

B-Diddy is coming home. And he is bringing his beard with him. Can this possibly be true? Did the Clippers just make a big free agent signing? Umm, come again?

I don't know what to feel right now. Incredulity is dominating my emotions. Perhaps Clippers owner Donald Sterling lost a bet in a poker game. Perhaps he is starting his own version of Punk'd and this is all part of an elaborate scheme to excite the Clipper Nation into believing there is hope only to somehow pull the rug out from underneath them in the end. That's when Elton Brand enters and a little thing called Free Agency takes over...

It almost makes perfect sense that the Golden State Warriors and Don Nelson would act in this fashion. Child-like comes to mind. You take our guy, we take yours mentality. It seems that they are the leading candidate in the How-Much-Can-I-Pay-Elton sweepstakes that is estimated to reach $90 Million dollars over 5 years. This just so happens to be about $20 Million MORE than the Clippers current offer to big EB. And so the hope that brilliantly illuminated Clipper Nation in the hours following the Baron Davis signing has started dimming. And all that remains is questions... Will Elton Brand remain loyal to his image and choose to stay a Clipper as he promised the fans and the management? It seems the team has come through with their end of the bargain, bringing in Davis and improving their status as a contender in the West. Now it is up to Brand.

Maybe the Clippers find a way to increase the deal on their side and get the numbers closer. Maybe Brand is content taking less money (a lot less money) to play along side Davis and keep his reputation as a man of his word intact. After all, this Clippers lineup with Baron and Brand is no slouch. Suddenly you are looking at veteran leadership from both the PG and the PF positions. An inside out combo to be reckoned with. I like. Not to mention a dynamite one-two punch off the court as well. We may have to start revisiting which team exactly is the Hollywood team in La La Land. What with Brand and Davis both producing hit movies this past year (Rescue Dawn and Made in America, respectively). It appears they are taking the whole Star Power thing to another level. Don't be surprised if Kobe appears in the next Spike Lee joint.
And so the waiting continues till at least this Wednesday for Clippers fans. Hopefully Brand can give Clipper Nation one more reason to believe that they are not just the lovable losers of the NBA. Perhaps he can be the professional athlete willing to play for something more than just money that we all believed he was. I, for one, still believe.

The Aftermath

Well, I hope you are happy Shaquille. Your rap feud has reached new levels. Now not only do we have to listen to THIS but a whole new spawn of 13-yr old white rappers are sure to follow. These parents deserve the Best Child Raising Award this year no doubt (Best part is the little kid on the left "Yeah!").

Oh Happy Day!

Contrary to popular belief (or in this case lethargy and depression) the world DOESN'T need a hug. Apparently we are all as happy as we ever have been. And I bet you didn't even know it!

Perhaps that guy that goes around offering free hugs HAS made a difference. Or perhaps the "scientists" and their "data" have the answer arguing that increased economic conditions for poorer countries, democratization, and societal shifts away from animosity have been the reasons for the rise in happiness. Either way, a new study from the National Science Foundation says the world as a whole has been getting happier over recent years.Denmark is the happiest nation (duh! but we all know deep down inside those Danish folk are just waiting to explode!) and Zimbabwe brings up the rear as the least happiest (turns out unruly dictators tend to diminish one's joy- go figure). America comes in at number 16 on the happiness scale out of the 52 nations in the survey. I have a sneaking suspicion that Lakers fans have brought that average down in the U.S. after the result of that NBA Finals (see I managed to tie this story back to sports somehow).

The Happiness Index created from the results of the survey (which included 350,000 people over 17 years) rose significantly for 40 of the 52 countries from 1981 levels to 2007 levels. Seems to me that measuring someone's happiness is no easy task. Ask any random person at a given time if they are "very happy" or "sort of happy" or "not happy at all" and they might give a different answer in the morning than one a few hours later in the day. It all depends on if they have taken their medication yet or not. But in the end, it all comes down to one key factor that clearly these scientists have overlooked: the international syndication of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. The increase in the number of viewers watching Bob Ross has no doubt led to the rise in happiness in the world. After all, "Happy Trees equals Happy People!"

Kazaam!

Oh no he di'in't! Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in! Let's see, it only took Shaq about a week and a half after the Lakers (and Kobe) lost in the Finals to publicly announce his utter elation over the result. And it didn't come in the form of some interview quote or youtube soundbite. No the Big Aristotle decided it would be best if he took the mic in an NYC night club to freestyle rap it out. Who was there to pick it up but none other the always classy TMZ.com. As for the freestyle, Shaq offers some tasty options to Kobe (literally) and says "Kobe, you can't do it without me!" I'm guessing he is referring to winning a Championship and not eating 27 hot dogs in 3 minutes for off-season workouts.

Other tidbits include:
"Kobe ratted me out and now I'm getting divorced." Hmmm, that doesn't sound friendly.

"Hey Kobe, tell me how my a$$ taste?" Say what now? The hook could definitely use some work.

It's the Day After the Shaq rap and the question is: was this real or was this staged for publicity? Is there actually still animosity there between these two guys? Is the feud back? Will Kobe enlist the help of fellow rap aficionado Tyra as he did in the past and come back at Shaquille with a freestyle of his own? As a Lakers fan I certainly hope not. As someone easily amused by poorly executed embarrassing television fodder, yes I think he should.

So what happened? I thought they made-up like two years ago. That's what makes me think this whole "freestyle" rap was staged a la WWF built to bring up the ratings for those Pacific Conference games with the Suns vs the Lakers next year.
Clearly these two guys have had some bitter moments and hostile comments towards each other over the years. And no doubt deep down Shaq is happy Kobe has yet to win a title without him. But my feeling is this seems a bit forced. Who knows, perhaps if my teammate told everyone in the world that I had paid off girls millions of dollars to keep secret that I slept around on my wife and then demanded that I be traded from our championship caliber team... yeah I guess I might hold a little teeny tiny grudge. Perhaps...

Well, THAT happened...

So much for the motivational speech. I have been too heartbroken to post until now. And without a doubt I can unequivocally say that the hatred of the Boston Celtics is back with a vengeance.

It never really went away but more was put on the shelf the past 20 years or so. Buried down until the two teams reached prominence TOGETHER once again. But it is back now. And I can speak for all Lakers fans that is has returned in a huge way. There is nothing harder as a fan than to have to watch your team get destroyed so badly that the celebration of the opponent begins in the 3rd quarter. And to your bitter rival of years past no less. Yes, I have diligently avoided ESPN and all ESPN media outlets since Game 6 out of fear of having to see some lame-ass Paul Pierce victory celebration. It's been a rough week.

Don't ask me about the video circulating with L.O. out late night after Game 5 before the Lakers fly cross-country to Boston the next morning. Am I upset that he didn't just get some rest? Sure, do I think it cost us the game? No. Maybe this is his ritual for every home win. He goes and releases some stress with some friends and has a couple cocktails. This was not the reason we lost the series or Game 6.So what about the Lakers? What happens now? I have heard many different comments since the Massacre took place and to most of them I just scoff. One particularly intriguing viewpoint is that the team is somehow cursed ever since Chick Hearn passed away back in 2002 after our 3rd in championship in a row. We have not won the title since and watching the games certainly has never been the same. Another theory floating out there is that the paranormal played a role in this outcome. Some believe that Red Auberach and his arrogant stogey antics somehow influenced the series in order to keep Phil Jackson from topping the all time NBA Titles list. Interesting theory indeed.

But it all really comes down to the fact that the Lakers were outplayed and outhustled in the Final round to a more physical team. Had the series been reffed tighter maybe the outcome would have been different. Who knows, but we are talented enough as a balllclub to adjust to the style of play needed to win. So no whining should come from our side.

And while I am hugely disappointed in our performance in the Finals, I am not throwing the team and certain players under the bus as has been the case with countless Lakers fans in the past week. We win as a TEAM and we lose as a TEAM. Certain players didn't play great in the series but without each one of them we would not have even gotten to the final round. Look at where we were in the pre-season and where we finished up and overall this was a remarkable year for the Lakers.
No title to show for the work but big strides taken to start that dominance once again. Young players that hopefully continue to get better and improve going into camp this next year. And with a healthy Bynum in the paint we have the force needed inside to dominate both defensively and offensively. I definitely like our chances going forward. The key will be coming back stronger mentally and hungrier than last year. I think Kobe will be even more motivated to prove that he can win post Shaq. And he will train even harder and push his teammates in the process. Watch out Bean Town, you may have won this battle but we plan to win the war.

Game 5: No More Mr. Nice Guy

Sure some of you might be thinking "but what about Game 4?" And to that I wave my hand and deftly say "There was no Game 4. These are not the droids you are looking for..." And so we move on...

Game 5 was a gut-check for the boys in purple and gold. After having their heart wrenched out in The Game Which Must Not Be Named, the Lakers were left with a decision: give up or come out swinging. Happily for the fans of La La Land they chose the latter. And for the first time in the series it looked like they played with a chip on their shoulder. As if to defiantly say to the big bullies from beantown "Not Anymore! You will NOT push us around anymore!" Sadly that has really been the deciding factor in the series thus far. Call it aggression or call it toughness; the Lakers have been lacking it up until this win or go home Game 5.

Perhaps the refs took it away from them in the lopsided foul calls of games 1 & 2. Perhaps it was simply their style of play being a finesse passing team. Whatever the case may be, the days of the Lakers getting pushed around and not fighting back are over (hopefully for good) after Game 5. The team made the decision to fight back. And that's not to say the Lakers weren't putting the effort out there or playing hard before. It was the mentality that had to change. The physical nature with which that effort needed to be harnessed. Much like young Daniel Larusso learning the Crane Technique, the Lakers cannot back down from the Cobra Kai equivalent Celtics.
Message received.

The Lakers stopped looking at the refs every time they got pushed and instead pushed back. They knew the contact was coming and they played through it serving back some contact of their own. There is nothing harder than watching your team being punked by another team. Let's face it, that's what the Celtics have tried to do in this series. Could the refs call the games closer? Yes. Are they going to call it that way in Boston in Game 6? Highly unlikely. As in no chance. So the Lakers better adjust and keep giving it right back.

It all starts with Kobe Bryant. From the first tip back in Boston Game 1 Kobe Bryant has been all too friendly with the opponents. This is the NBA Finals. And this is LA Lakers versus Boston Celtics. This rivalry spans over 5 decades. There is more heartache and animosity between these two franchises (and their fans) than arguably any other two in any sport. Period. And the Lakers' Star and league MVP is out there joking with the Boston players at crucial moments in the game? I'm sorry but that is just not the right message to send to your young teammates. If Kobe comes out in Game 1 and shows his team that he is not going to take any crap from these Celtics then it filters down to the rest of the guys. He is NOT buddies with these guys when they are out on the court. He is NOT gonna let them push his guys around.

Because if there is one certainty that I have learned from this series it is that the Celtics are not your friend. They may smile and talk with Kobe but the second that ball is inbounded they are sucker punching and pushing at every turn. And until Game 5 the Lakers were letting them do it with no repercussions. Not only were they letting them step all over them on both sides of the ball but they were doing it with our star smiling all the while. Again, not the message you want to send to your young teammates Kobe. Besides, he is one of the few players that actually plays BETTER when he is angry. That fire and intensity only ratchets up his game that much more. I want to see that fire and controlled anger towards his opponent in this series.

I have NEVER seen more uncontested drives to the basket for dunks in a Finals than the number Boston has had this series. I don't condone dirty plays but the Lakers need to give a hard foul or two (maybe get Rick Fox incarnate out there). Show that they are in this thing for real. The Lakers had an image of being a "soft" team heading into the finals and they have done very little to change that perception with their performance thus far until Game 5. Can a team change their identity? Does it require more than just saying No Easy Baskets? Yes it requires action. I want to see Kobe get in the face of KG or Pierce and send a message that WE (the Lakers) are not standing for that stuff. There is no knockout punch you can throw at US. Gasol has adjusted to the physicality and played much stronger in Game 5. Odom has managed to play more effectively without fouling and asserted himself as a force inside. Stand up for yourself. That's the message.
Game 6 should be another heavyweight fight with the team that asserts themselves better coming out on top. If the Celtics want to run that small lineup (especially with Perkins possible out again due to injury) then the Lakers must pound the ball in the paint. Show that they are not afraid to take it strong in there and go with a sense of purpose. Post Gasol up and get a touch inside EVERY POSSESSION. Give Odom the rock with deep position ALL DAY long with Posey trying to check him down there. Put Kobe down there too. If they shoot threes then they need to be inside-out threes. If they can get out in transition the more the better but be sure to take it to the rack. Don't settle.

And in response to popular demand: Here are the results from the So You Think You Can Draw A Foul? (or Who Wants To Be A Flopper?) Contest
1. Vlade Divac
2. Manu Ginobili
3. Derek Fisher
4. John Stockton
5. Sasha Vujacic

Game 3

No doubt we have all struggled through the first 2 games of this 2008 NBA Finals. Whether it was discrepancy in foul calls (as in we got none) or clanking misfires off the hand of the MVP, Laker fans are due for something to cheer about. Hopefully tonight will be that night. Considering the statistical significance of no team ever coming back from an 0-3 hole, I'm guessing we can all agree that tonight's bball game is in fact a must-win game. That being said, never been done before is only never been done before until someone does it. Deep, I know.

Predictions: I expect us to get to the free throw line about a hundred times tonight and Doc Rivers to say "Cmon dick, cmon" like a billion times. How old is Dick Bavetta btw? Shouldn't he be retired already? I know science has made it possible to live longer and with advances in modern medicine and his high level of income it isn't ridiculous to think that he will live to be 125 but running up and down the court with the speed of the game? Me thinks not. Which takes me to my next point: I think the NBA should put on a reality TV contest in the off-season choosing a replacement for Bavetta called "So you think you can ref?" Instead of dance-offs we would witness ref-offs and feats of strength/agility. Bavetta could be one of the judges along with Barkley and Rasheed Wallace. Tim Donaghy could do the PSAs. Priceless. Just for your info Bavetta was born in 1939. That's WWII time for those of you keeping score at home.

This is for John

Divine Intervention

And so the first game in the uber-hyped NBA 2008 Finals is in the books with a decisive overpowering victory going to the boys in Green. The Boston Celtics managed more than just a victory during the 98-88 final; they called upon a miracle. Yes there definitely was a higher power at work in the Boston locker room during the 3rd Qtr last night. The same room in which an apparent knee-injured Paul Pierce ran out of only minutes after being carried into writhing in pain. We all feared the worst watching as fans of the game not ever wanting to see anyone get injured as Pierce went down awkwardly in that 3rd Qtr. But what started as concern quickly turned to incredulity as a seemingly revived and healthy Pierce ran out onto the court less than 2 minutes of game time later. From that point he went on to hit 2 consecutive threes giving the Celtics the lead of which they never gave up again. Pierce went 6-6 in the second half scoring 19 points over the final two Qtrs. So what happened? Well, placing all acts of divine intervention aside; some of the same issues that have bothered the Lakers in earlier rounds this postseason reared their ugly head again in Game 1. The most notable being rebounding. It's not just the overall margin on the boards (13) but also the timely manner in which those rebounds came. It always seemed to be on the possessions where the Lakers were starting to get some momentum in the 2nd half. Or on a missed Boston free throw attempt that turned into more time off the clock and an additional two points for the Celtics.

Being outhustled to loose balls and outworked on the glass are painful things to watch as a fan. Combine that with an off shooting night from MVP Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were fortunate to hold close in the second half. Look for Gasol and Odom to have bounceback games if the Lakers are to steal a game in Boston. KG is going to be a tough matchup but the Lakers will look to disrupt his game a bit more as the series progresses as well as attacking the rim with more fervor and intention. With Game 1 jitters gone I expect a better performance in Game 2 for the Lakers. Of course, you never know what kind of magic Boston has in store for the second installation of this epic rivalry.

Make Money Money

For Love Of The Game. That's the motto and the anthem of this blog. That's why we cheer so hard for players like Ronnie Turiaf and that's what makes sports so exhilarating. But there is no denying the simple truth that professional athletes today get paid vast sums of money. And it would be naive to believe that they play the game solely out of their love for it. In fact, many might be playing purely for monetary reasons as even the average players in the top U.S. leagues make mid-to-high six figure minimums. It begs the question: Have we lost the purity of the game amidst the tidal wave of salary earnings and endorsement deals?

Sports Illustrated recently released a list of the top 50 highest-earning athletes in the U.S. this past year and a breakdown of their earnings between salary and endorsements. I figured it would be fun to take a look at the top 10. The results just might surprise you.

1. Tiger Woods ($23 Million Winnings + $105 Million Endorsements = $128Million)
2. Phil Mickelson ($9 Million Winnings + $53 Million Endorsements = $62 Million)
3. Lebron James ($12.5 Million Salary + $28 Million Endorsements = $40.5 Million)
4. Floyd Mayweather Jr. ($20 Million Salary + $20 Million Endorsements = $40 Million)
5. Kobe Bryant ($19.5 Million Salary + $16 Million Endorsements = $35.5 Million)
6. Shaquille O'Neal ($20 Million Salary + $15 Million Endorsements = $35 Million)
7. Alex Rodriguez ($29 Million Salary + $6 Million Endorsements = $35 Million)
8. Kevin Garnett ($22 Million Salary + $9 Million Endorsements = $31 Million)
9. Peyton Manning ($17.5 Million Salary + $13 Million Endorsements = $30.5 Million)
10. Derek Jeter ($22 Million Salary + $8 Million Endorsements = $30 Million)
Of course no one should be surprised to see Tiger Woods topping the list. I don't know of a product he DOESN'T push on my TV screen. I was surprised at the sheer size of that endorsement number for the year at $105 Million. He more than DOUBLES everyone on the list and TRIPLES everyone except number 2. It is safe to say that he has become this generations Michael Jordan. Another two years at this pace and he will be the first $1Billion dollar sports earner ever. Not too shabby.

I was shocked to see Phil Mickelson at number 2 with a whopping $53 million in endorsements. I know he is a fan favorite and I hear people actually watch and follow golf but $53 million? Seriously? It is still up for discussion whether or not golf is actually a sport versus a skill. There is no doubt that Mickelson would have serious trouble competing in any cardiovascular activity. I doubt that he could run a mile under the 12 minute mark that the state requires for all 6th graders. And to be honest I can't think of what products sponsor him. Must be a bunch of financial companies catering to the older white guys who know who he is. Questionable.

The biggest surprise name on the list has to be Mayweather. Haven't we all decided that boxing is on the way out in the mainstream sports media. No one is excited about that sport anymore. I guess you can never underestimate the bump the comes after doing Dancing With The Stars. I seem to recall him fighting in a WWF match recently. That MUST mean things are going good.

It seems to me that Kobe has positioned himself for the biggest rise in the list come next year's rankings. He is going for an NBA Championship and Finals MVP to go along with his regular season MVP this year. And it has been a long 4 years since his run in with the law and that alleged incident in Colorado. Nike has already jumped back on board and I expect he will have many more sponsors come this off-season. Think about it, the guy jumps over Aston Martins in youtube videos in order to make a little more in the endorsement game. Not to mention water pits with snakes in them. So are these athletes worth the money? And has the sanctity of the game been lost with the huge increases in earnings? The old boston celtics players of the late 50s and 60s were champions many times over and leaders of the NBA. And yet many if not most of the players (Russell excluded) worked summer jobs in the off-season to cover their bills. It almost seems impossible to fathom that kind of a scenario with todays pro sports environment. In today's sporting world the growth in the media outlets and the market for advertising revenues has expanded so vastly that its hard to argue against the justification for paying these salaries/incomes. If the owners of the teams are willing to fork out the cash for these players then it must be worth it from a bottom line perspective.

The question of athletes being overpaid is really a function of our society and how much stake we put into entertainment and celebrities. If we actively campaigned and worked with as much passion for our school system budgets and medical care as we do for our sports teams then maybe the dollar amounts would change. After all, the demand drives the product. If there is no audience for a team or a league then the money goes away and it all dries up. Would this ever happen in a world where we care more about the winner of American Idol than the President of the Country? Don't hold your breath.

So it only goes up and up from here. Can the athlete of today hold on to that purity of sport that begins when he/she is a kid shooting hoops in the driveway after school? Can he/she manage to separate the game from the business that it actually is? Are there more Ronnie Turiaf's out there playing with pure joy and emotion for the sport that they love? I certainly hope so.

Conspiracy Theory

No, not just a lame movie with Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts, government cover-ups, mind control, and silent helicopters (I know it actually sounds cool but trust me not so much). I am talking about the recent rumblings from certain people that the current NBA Playoffs are NOT on the level. Sure, these loonies (or “truth” tellers as they call themselves) also believe that we have landed on the moon and that the Iraq war was a deliberately concocted scheme designed to profit friends and lobbyists. Craziness, I know. But what if…

So let’s get that paranoia feeling flowing and channel our best Oliver Stone impersonations as we take a look at the NBA: Conspiracy Style.

Some would have you believe that this all started way back in the off-season. Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen surreptitiously arrived in Bean Town suddenly and dramatically reviving one of the classic basketball powerhouses in NBA History. Oh, and also a historically strong television ratings team. Hmmm. Next comes the mid-season steal, I mean deal, that sent Pau Gasol to the Los Angeles Lakers for Kwame Brown. Again, some might say this was a lop-sided trade. I would argue however that Kwame is great at (not) catching the ball. Just a thought.

And so we have two classic big market teams rising to the top seeds in both the East and the West after arguably two of the most one-sided trades in recent NBA memory. A positive for the League one might think. Conspiracy theorists are rolling.

Fast forward on to the playoffs. The Celtics have struggled but continue to hold home court and are 1 game away from grabbing a spot in the Eastern Conference Finals. The Lakers on the other side are also 1 game away from punching their ticket into the Finals of the Western Conference. In the most recent game 5 of the Lakers/Jazz series there was a controversial no-call on Pau Gasol’s offensive rebound and dunk over Mehmet Okur late in the 4^th Quarter. Conspiracy or flop?

Let’s take a look at the fouls. In the Lakers/Jazz series, the Lakers through 5 games have 123 fouls compared to the 149 fouls called on the Jazz. That equates to 25 per game for the Lakers versus 30 per game for the Jazz. If you look at the regular season numbers, the Lakers averaged 21 fouls per game and the Jazz averaged 24 fouls per game. The Jazz do happen to foul the most out of any team in the League during the regular season. The difference between the two in the series taking into account the regular season average is plus or minus 2 fouls; not much support for the conspiracy theorists here.

Looking at the other series in the Playoffs, you have teams like the Spurs (one game away from getting into the Western Finals) and the Pistons (already into the Eastern Finals now for the 6^th straight season) that do NOT bring big television audiences and yet they continue to win. Yet another knock against the conspiracy proponents.

And now we even have players becoming “believers”. Chris Paul said to the score’s table during last night’s blowout to the Spurs “It’s almost like someone called them (the refs) up at halftime and said ‘let them boys win’”. Interesting comment CP3, and even more intriguing is his country slang. Makes me wonder if he had a straw cowboy hat on chewing some tobacca while he made that comment.

Of course, the whole Tim Donaghy thing this past summer surely doesn’t help the non-conspiracy group. But think about the level of complexity involved in rigging a game. There are so many moving pieces in a basketball contest. The game has to play out a certain way for the refs to even have the opportunity to decide it. And gross discrepancies in calls or “phantom” calls just don’t happen out there. The only level of conspiracy I could accept would possibly be one ref being instructed that if the game is close and there is a 50/50 call then they make it based on the team with the higher TV ratings. I could maybe see something like that happening. But I just don’t buy it.

The fallout from a collusion strategy such as this one would be astronomic. The risks far outweigh the rewards because IF the NBA was to get caught trying to influence the outcomes then there would be great damage to the brand and the viewership. Greater I believe than the positive results of a higher televised series one year where no Detroit and no San Antonio appear in the Finals. Of course, if my team gets knocked out then hell yeah this whole thing is rigged!

To Trade or Not To Trade

That is the question. And I think we have our answer.

Never before has ONE mid-season move created so much residual impact as the Pau Gasol trade that went down earlier this year. That one trade resulted in two legitimate Western Conference Title contenders (as previously constructed) to make major changes to their lineups. In what I like to call the "Drastic Overreaction", Dallas ditched up and coming PG Devon Harris for aging J Kidd and the Suns (who were one game away from winning the West last season) gave up Shawn Marion for aging Shaquille O'Neal. Both trades were done in order to win NOW. How'd that work out?

On a day when two teams punched their tickets to the Western Conference Semifinals, it was the guys who DIDN'T make the big trades that came out victorious. Both the Suns and the Mavs had their title hopes thwarted last night with first round exits. Oops.

And as the Temptations said so eloquently, what becomes of the broken hearted? The Mavs will no doubt part ways with the Little General (Coach Avery Johnson) as Cuban and he have not seen eye-to-eye for awhile now. And his ability not to get them out of the first round the past two seasons does not bode well. Add in to the mix that he clearly was not all too thrilled with losing his groomed PG Harris for the older Jason Kidd and you have a recipe for distaster. Would getting rid of Avery be the right move?Unfortunately for the Mavs, ever since they lost in the NBA Finals in 2006 (only the third time that a team lost in the Finals after winning the first two games) they have struggled mentally to regain that confidence in the playoffs. Last season they became only the 3rd team to lose as the #1 seed to an 8 seed in the first round. That's the wrong side of history again. And now they are out again in the first round this year. I think Avery is a very good coach but this team is scarred mentally and there does need to be some changes made. Personally I wouldn't get rid of the coach but can he co-exist with the veteran Kidd and give him more responsibility over running the team? IF Kidd is going to stay and Avery remains the coach, then there will need to be some serious team building exercises in this off-season. Trust Falls anyone?

And how about the Big Cactus? Shaq promised that the sun would rise in Phoenix when he arrived but it seems that he got the rising thing mixed up with the setting thing. He appeared to be rejuvenated arriving in Phoenix and moving better than he had been in Miami but he still showed in the Spurs series that his lift and movement are considerably down. I never thought I would see the day when Shaq couldn't throw down a dunk right around the basket. Tough to watch. His inability to play D on the pick and roll (standing at the basket when your guy sets a ball screen for Tony Parker at the 3 line is NOT an effective strategy) was a major factor in the Spurs scoring at will. His enormous contract is going to be hard to move so I think he will be a Sun for awhile meaning get used to the new look Suns.
Does that mean D'Antoni is out? His preferred style of play requires athletes that run fast and score even faster. Shaq doesn't exactly fit into that mold. Something has to give here.

So what have we learned kids. Making a move for the sake of making a move; not smart. Don't mess with a good thing. Should be an interesting off-season for these two clubs.

And now we are left to watch more Spurs basketball this post-season (thanks a lot Phoenix).

The NBA: Where Amazing Happens… Unless You Live in Seattle

The National Basketball Association is supposed to be where caring happens. I've heard it, you've heard it, we've all heard it. But something tells me the people of Seattle aren't feeling all warm and fuzzy inside these days.

The League voted this week to approve the move of the Seattle Supersonics to Oklahoma City despite numerous requests and pending lawsuits from Seattle politicians/citizens to keep the team there. And so a city with over 40 years of NBA basketball history is left to come to grips with the simple fact that the League is abandoning them. And I don't mean abandoning them in one of those "this is best for you" kind of ways. They are straight up leaving them behind. No stopping at GO to collect $200, just continue on around the board to Jail.

What's the reason? Two words: Luxury Boxes. Yet another franchise is skipping town because they can't get the newest biggest arena with the special rooms for the corporate sponsors. And the real sports fans WIN AGAIN! YIPPEEEE!

Yes sadly it all comes down to a new arena. Or in other words, the cheddar. As it turns out, the fans of Seattle are a little tired of spending their own money to build new arenas. After all, they just footed the bill for the new NFL Stadium and the new MLB Stadium over the last 9 years. They love their sports and all but 3 new arenas in less than 10 years all covered by the fans in the form of tax dollars? Seems a bit excessive even for the typical Dr. Frasier Crane-type.
Shouldn't the owners be funding AT LEAST half of the bill on these things? It's not like the citizens are sharing in the appreciation of the value of the team. Sure they might get more investment into the city and reap some secondary benefits, but let's be honest, the owners are the big winners in this deal.

It shouldn't be very surprising. Fans have been getting screwed for centuries. That's America's pastime. In today's sports environment (and really society as a whole), loyalty is as rare as seeing Kanye West not complain after he doesn't win an award. That's rare.

But who's the blame? Well you could say the writing was on the wall the moment Howard Schultz (Starbucks CEO and previous Sonics owner) sold the team to Clay Bennett (and his Oklahoma City conglomerate). Obviously this guy and his posse (no matter what terms I use I cannot for the life of me make middle aged white businessmen cool) had no intention of keeping the team in Seattle. Duh. So Schultz officially signed away the Sonics when he sold the team back in 2006.
Or perhaps you want to look at Bennett, who we now know intended to move the team all along. His "good faith" arrangement to try and keep the team in Seattle consisted of buying a few latte machiatios, shaking some politicians hands, and making a gee whiz face when that didn't work. Oh well.

Which brings me to my next point: why are all billionaires douchebags? OK so that might be a bit vague and harsh. But at least 98% of them are. They got rich by being that way. And once you make that first billion, there's no turning back. Oh that first billion...

How come there is never a billionaire owner who just owns a team for the passion of being a fan? How cool would that be. You have enough money, just forget about the bottom line and build a fun team for the fans (that includes you) to enjoy. Think of it as your charity project.

The closest example that comes to mind is Mark Cuban (owner of the Dallas Mavericks). He puts money into the club in the hopes of getting the best/most exciting team he can field. This in turn results in selling out the arena as well as raising the overall franchise value. That's what I call a win win. It's not like Seattle is struggling to get fans and that's WITH a crappy team playing there. Case in point, Shutlz and his group paid $200 million for the Sonics in '01 and sold them for $350 million in '06. Not too shabby. I wonder how much the fans got outta that one.Of course there is the whole "legal" argument that says the team has a lease with the arena through 2010 (last I checked it's still 2008). Not to mention a lawsuit from season ticket holders saying they were duped into believing the team would be staying when purchasing tickets.

And just this week Schultz filed a lawsuit against the Oklahoma City Gang to halt the move. Turns out Schultz doesn't enjoy being told he sucks everytime he walks around the corner in Seattle. Even crazed Starbucks aficionados addicted to his java would not hesitate to kick him in the shins after this maneuver. But with the League having already voted to approve the move, is his return to save the team too late? Watch next week as this saga continues to unfold...

And remember Seattle fans, you saw Shawn Kemp aka The Rainman back before he got old and fat skying through Key Arena. And The Glove d-ing up on Jordan before he sold out to win a title in LA, I mean Miami. You hold on to that. Hold on to those memories. And pour a little out for those Supersonics...

NBA Playoff Talk

So the first round games of the NBA Playoffs are in the books and you would think I might offer up some detailed analysis breaking down all the ins and outs of the matchups. You'd be wrong. Dead wrong.

I came across this picture and just had to comment. This guy is living the dream. Zaza Pachulia "plays" for the Atlanta Hawks (yes they are in the NBA and yes they are in the playoffs, I know). Below is his picture from the Atlanta Hawks team page. Seriously dude? I didn't know Hotlanta was looking for more guido Scarface lookalikes. Miami is that way bro.


Also I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall this weekend (very funny, not as good as Superbad but better than Knocked Up) and the british rock singer steals the show. The actor's name is Russell Brand and I think he will be blowing up here in the US soon. Very funny. How does this relate to the NBA Playoffs you ask? Well not so much, although he does look surprisingly close to Luis Scola of the Houston Rockets. And both of them could easily be confused for former t.v. show The O.C. super cool dad, actor Peter Gallagher. Come to think of it so does Pachulia, that just blew my mind...

OK so after a couple games here is where I see these series finishing up:

The WEST
Lakers over Nuggets in 5 (enver (no D) somehow outshoots Lakers for 1 game max)
Hornets over Mavs in 6 (too much Paul and too old Kidd)
Spurs over Suns in 7 (defenseless Suns lose out to mentally tough Spurs)
Utah over Houston in 4 (tough to win in Utah for even the best teams)

The EAST
Boston over Atlanta in 4 (duh)
Detroit over Philly in 7 (the young kids have come to play)
Orlando over Toronto in 5 (superman in the building)
Cavs over Wiz in 4 (don't piss off the King)

Fan Participation

Baron Davis has started the Fear The Beard campaign promoting fans in the Bay Area to grow their beards in support of the Warriors. Quick Footnote: my lack of facial hair growth precludes me from participating in said event. But that’s neither here nor there.

So it got me thinking, what other promotions could Professional Athletes advocate around the league? And here is the fruit of my labor:

Matt Leinart could sponsor Sorority Wet T-shirt Contest Night (it’s called Tuesdays at his house).

Kobe Bryant could promote the Buy-Your-Wife-Huge-Adultery-Diamonds Campaign. Based on statistical data there should be plenty of guys needing to get into this one.

Steve Nash could stay in the same category as Baron and do the grow your hair out thing. Although something tells me there are already plenty of middle-aged balding men rocking the Long-in-the-Back look in Phoenix.

Pacman Jones could start the strip-club of the week special. Just bring your sticky ticket stubs to the games and get twenty one dollar bills from Pacman himself.

Jeff Van Gundy could support a “Be Jeff! Night” where fans shave the top of their head, don’t sleep for a week, and grimace like they have an ulcer all the time. Should be fun.

Carmelo Anthony can start the new NBA Cares message promoting drunk driving. It’s not SO bad after all is it? The catch on this one is to make sure and only do it at the most important moments of your professional career. Like during the Playoffs or the night before your big presentation. Also let the police know that you are following the lead of your boy Melo (by showing your bar stamps on your hand) and they will for sure do you a solid too.

The Cincinnati Reds could do a throwback game honoring Pete Rose where all the patrons are given randomly selected parlay bets on the outcomes of MLB games that night. Papa needs a new pair of shoes!

Green Bay Packer Fans could wear cheese-hats, oh wait…

South Park Teaches Cheating

How do I reach these keeds! Hilarious.

A GOOD Week

You’re telling me. Andy Roddick may have just had one of the best weeks in the history of mankind. He picked up a new BFF (you might have heard of him, Terrell Owens) and an engagement to Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Brooklyn Decker. Damn him. Oh yeah, he also beat Roger Federer (who HASN’T this year) for the first time in the past 11 tries. Yadda yadda yadda. That losing streak covers like 10 years. Roddick has now officially completed everything on his Bucket List. Anyways, here's another picture for you to enjoy. Don’t say I never did anything for you.


In the spirit of being fair to all of our readers, here is a picture of A-Roddick for the ladies out there (and of course Bob). Sidenote: are tennis players required to be tools or is it just a coincidence? He must work out.

In related news, Federer greatly regretting doing that Gillette Ad Campaign with buddy Tiger Woods. Many analysts have pointed to the gayness of these commercials having lead to his recent fall in the tennis rankings. He has yet to win a tournament this year.