Guaranteed

Remember back when making a guarantee meant something? The Babe promising a home run as the last wish of a dying boy or Ali vowing to knock out Liston or Namath guaranteeing Super Bowl victory. These promises had real value. These predictions were the stuff of legends. They were bold (made at the biggest moments) and they were actually backed-up.

So what's changed? Are too many people making guarantees too often? It certainly seems like each week we are hearing about a new guaranteed victory. This high volume of guarantees not only makes us numb to their effect and meaning but throw in the fact that they are usually empty promises and we are all left annoyed and unfulfilled (much like I feel after being forced to watch the latest Cuba Gooding Jr. trailer).

Personally, I blame the guy from The Men's Warehouse. He is always guaranteeing we are gonna like the way we look. That is a bold claim and quite frankly I don't think he can back that up. His incessant outlandish prediction has driven our society to reach Guarantee Overload (officially ™ by respect-the-streak.blogspot.com).

In a society where arrogant bravado in sports is encouraged and where talk is more valuable than action, guarantees reign supreme. From this week's baseless guaranteed win by Steelers safety Anthony Smith (Final Score 34-13 Patriots-Good Call Tony) to Rasheed Wallace's weekly guarantees, we are constantly inundated as sports fans. I am fine with athletes being confident. In fact I expect ALL athletes to BELIEVE they will win EVERY time they step out on the field of play. But don't go out and brag about that confidence to anyone who will listen. How about going out and just proving it on the field. SHOW ME. Don't tell me. Just SHOW us all who is the better team. Deliver the goods. Make it happen. And IF you have the confidence to make a guarantee at least make it count. There should be a limit on the number of incorrect guarantees a player can make over their career. One and done. And the quality of guarantee should be monitored as well. Don't go out there and guarantee a win over the Dolphins or the Supersonics. Who hasn't beaten them? You're better than that Spanish.

Predicting victory has been going on for years, just look back at history. Didn't you know we won the war in Iraq back in 2003? Mission Accomplished. Religion made the first guarantees, and the beauty of those promises is that we have no way of proving their authenticity. That is the ultimate guarantee. Live your life this way or that way and you will be rewarded, guaranteed.

There is no denying the fact that we live in a world full of guarantees, spanning from the sports world to consumer products (make millions by doing nothing? Still waiting...) to politicians to religions. Are we that naive to think that all of these things are actually guaranteed to us? I, for one, refuse to be fooled any more. No more sitting waiting for that cream to take effect! I believe no guarantee. Until it actually happens it does not exist. Nothing in life is guaranteed other than death (nice uplifting message I know). Maybe Nike was on to something with the whole Just Do It ad slogan. Actions speak louder than words. And THAT you can count on, I guarantee it.