Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Losing is the NEW Winning

What’s the difference between being labeled a winner or a loser? Some might say winning versus losing. Those some would be wrong. Way wrong. If you lose every game you play, aren’t you just really good at winning the battle of losing? Did I just blow your f-ing mind!

The worst winning percentage (or BEST losing percentage if you accept my logic and I think you do) in the history of the NBA (minus expansion teams) goes to… drum roll please… The CLIPPERS! Who would have thought?! Oh, yeah… me too.

Anyways, this plucky franchise started back in 1970 in Atlanta before moving to the whales’ vaj in ’78 and eventually its final resting place (there has to be a better way to say that) L.A. in ’84. Their impressive list of streaks includes 5, count ‘em FIVE winning seasons over the course of their 38 year history! But you know what they say, five is better than four. Yes it is Clipps. Yes it is.

And so I have some advice for Clippers fan(s) out there. Accentuate the positives. Sure it’s another season where your franchise guy is either A)injured or B)in the process of leaving due to free agency to go do great things for some other team (see Ron Harper, Tom Chambers, Danny Manning, Bob McAdoo, etc.).

And yes you still do live in a city where you have to always contend with “superior” Lakers fans giving you playful nicknames like “loser” and “you-don’t-belong-here!” Not to mention the noogies every time they see you. Damn those noogies.

And yes your owner is Donald Sterling (or the OD for the Original Donald as I like to call him) who prides himself in being the WORST owner in the history of ownership. Seriously, he actually has business cards that say that. That and CHEAPEST bastard ever!

BUT there are positives to be proud of: Losing is the NEW Winning. Everyone’s doing it. And although you do boast the worst single-season record for wins at 12 for the Pacific Division of the Western Conference, you do NOT have the worst single-season record EVER, which belongs to the Philadelphia 76ers (9 wins). Those guys have sucked worse! That seems like something to celebrate.

The Clippers possess a career .367 winning percentage over the course of the franchise history. That’s a helluva good batting average in baseball! You know what that statistic says to me? Every time a fan comes to a game they have OVER a 1 in 3 chance of seeing a win. Better odds than the lottery my friend.

In conclusion, should the Clippers organization be ridiculed for their less-than-stellar winning percentage? Should over-weight people be mocked simply because they are fat? I think NOT, no they should be applauded for being REALLY fracken good at eating. It’s not easy being the step-child of a loveless marriage. Or a franchise owned by the OD. There is more to life than being skinny or winning. And the Clippers get that.

1 comment:

fdhghg said...

In conclusion, I am better than Matt Keller.

No wait, are you saying Keller is better than me? I am confused...