Want to know what’s gonna go down in that courtroom? Don’t feel like waiting for it to actually happen already? Well look no further. Our very own special investigatory team was able to find the transcript before even Clemens or McNamee said anything. The following may be shocking, prepare yourselves…
CONGRESS: “Did you order McNamee to give your wife HGH/Steroid injections?”
CLEMENS: “You really have no idea what you want do you.”
CONGRESS: “I want the TRUTH!”
CLEMENS: “You can’t handle the truth!”
CONGRESS: “Yes I can!”
CLEMENS: “No you can’t!”
CONGRESS: “Dude.”
CLEMENS: “We live in a world of baseball stadiums that have walls. And those walls are guarded by outfielders with gloves. Who’s gonna do it? You? You congressman Mitchell? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom! You weep for guys like McGuire and you curse pitchers like me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That chicks dig the long ball, and while tragic as it was, the homerun chase probably saved baseball. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You NEED me on that mound! We use words like Strikeout, Innings-Pitched, ERA. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent pitching. You use them in your fantasy baseball leagues as statistical categories.”
CONGRESS: “I don’t really understand what…”
CLEMENS: “I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a Congress that rises and cheers under the blanket of the very entertainment I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you grab a ball and take the mound. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you want.”
CONGRESS: “But Roger...”
CLEMENS: “I’d appreciate it if you would address me as The Rocket or Sir. I believe I’ve earned it.”
CONGRESS: “OK Rocket, let me ask you this: do you have a problem with your wife’s body? Did you ever call her a fatty?
CLEMENS: “Come on now, I… there is no…”
CONGRESS: “Sources have stated that you referred to the very thought of sex with your wife as quote disgusting. Are you denying those claims?!”
CLEMENS: “How…”
CONGRESS: “Did you order McNamee to give your wife HGH?!”
CLEMENS: “I… I…”
CONGRESS: “Did you order it!”
CLEMENS: “You’re goddamn right I did!”
CONGRESS: “Oh snap! We did it! SportsCenter here we come baby! Oh and hey Rodge, probably not the best time and all but do you think I could get me one of your autographs, my kid’s a huge fan.”
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